carnal lightening reaped my brain with verve
and sickled fever, emotion sloughing clean
my tortured psyche

and who was I to challenge
this narcotic self-ablution –
yet, what of my resolve to linger
in bias mental disarray?

pathetic hypotheticals
engorged my blood
as nothing new
the tension burning scars within this
manic un-enlivened carcass grew


my hybrid-self assaulted what was once
unfailed but often wrong integrity
and swifter than a scarlet blade
my conscience was absconded
to a heaven: peace, release, and ease

had I commanded armies to retreat?
my palsied mind
was finally worth its bloody ground
and tissues thick with matters
fed on independence
lost among the strain

I must remember where I left my genius


© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 24 June, 2004