life

THE INVOLUNTARINESS OF LIFE

O, the involuntariness of life.
I did not ask for any of this. I
was not sinned from my mother’s womb to strife
between such small moments of bliss.

I cannot canter, all horsely and proud,
made to garden the fruits of my labour.
My soul was born to yearn loud, not
sink to another’s cold favour.

God willing, by the end of my days
I will leave achievements like letters –
small mercies for the suffering of babes
to learn how to generation better.

Peace comes at this fair price –
not without effort, or calling; but
through silent lessons, taught to them twice –
elders way showing before falling.

And so, to these children of time:
mistakes beget paths, straight and narrow.
I was birthed as Creator of mine
to lead such a flight like a sparrow.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 10 July, 2017

HUMAN BOOKENDS

It is here
in this bottle-necked existence, locked
into days captioned by ticks and tocks,
where time resides in each of us
until it stops,
rotating the same hands
inside the same third dimensional clock;

it is here
where every breath exhaled is a universal kiss –
it is simply one moment and
the space in between this
that binds together our journeys, which,
as uniquely defined as we feel each is,
are all chapters of the same book
we write to reminisce,
primed and painted with the same theme we
create to self-exist,
scrawled by the same pencil, held
by the same hands as we persist…
each of us artists
with the same precise and leather-bound twist

It is here
where we long for real purpose or true faith –
to believe that something
‘other’,
external,
or
majestic
awaits…
but in nothing we trust
yet, cry blame for our fate –
each a different monologue of the same hate;
the same distracting soul state;
the same periodic and prolific bait –
God would not want us, at any rate

It is here
in darkness, arms around each other’s back
that war hangs overhead in stasis,
circling, cycling on a track and
wearing thin our patience
while it leaks like yolk from all our cracks
(we watch it drip indifferently as we huddle tight within our pack)
S
I
L
E
N
T
L
Y
preparing
for the next surprise attack:
we, like wolves, insane
and seeing red with every flash –
our lonely pain inciting hunger,
our deep abyss as black

It is here
in this cosmic explosion,
and it is now just as it was then,
that peace is nought but a tragic parody
of the dreams of passing men,
and nothing changes but the theatre of stars
in lines, in queues, end to end,
enemy to friend to
ENEMY
for decades once again,
consuming pain like greed as our bellies all distend,
living every angle of the lie like it is money we MUST spend,
the broken tales of each of us
portending, true, our end;
dangling one more burden
like a dog-tag for a past we’ve penned
at rest beneath a headstone
in a yard of human bookends

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 14 April, 2017

BOOK OF LIVING DREAMS

In waking sleep we all expire,
remote organics built to tire –
searching lusts for something more
to fill our souls beyond our core

We lay awake inside a dream,
asleep within a constant stream,
alone, in part, to wander, lost,
with passing time our only cost

We play as shadows holding hands
with eyes wide closed and few demands,
our every moment briefly clashing;
fast forgotten memories flashing

Here, we count down from our birth
with time a thief upon this earth –
purpose teased at every corner,
Chinese Whispers our informer

But all will realise when we’re gone
that we were dreaming every song –
that death becomes another story;
a painless world of allegory

I fear we write this book forever
as single pages bound together
to lay inside our reader’s minds
in passing paragraphs of time

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 21st January, 2017

MOTHER AND WIFE

 

Bear witness
for in this river of flesh
I carry souls ashore
where countless numbers of
babes become men
become monsters and then
become thrustly
and greedy
and desperately famished
of reason but too fat with ease, and
too brittle and fractured
of heart and of sense
and, thus, absent of care
to repent or ascend
but instead,
so depend on their
wafer-thin skin to protect
their descent
into watery storms,
– into tangles of nets –
– into womanly curves –
and the blue, blue eyes of breasted streams,
ungodly fresh sin,
and purposeless dreams

Bear witness

as I birth these farmers of filth
as they strangle the earth
while I patiently wade in
the knee-high abuse
and the ocean of seed
to stand watch by their graves
where the no-longer-babes
– the sailors and cowards
and bastards that dribble –
are caught in a wave
of stone and soil ripple,
– are anchored and drowned –
without sight, nor intent,
but the passage of life
for a time
– once less lived –
due the freedom
I selflessly lost
but to generously
give

Bear witness:
I swell with the waters of life
– the mother and wife –
for an endless such blight;
yet, still, I exist, swept aside,
and, despite.

 

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 10 August, 2015

THOUGHT #243

Desire fuels the starving spark of presence.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 4 April, 2015

INCEPTION

Inception

Time: a purpose
built for frolic and fancy;
an infinite seduction
so exquisite
that it’s yet to be considered to exist;
a burden so nameless
that life abandons it
almost upon inception.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 4 April, 2015

SOCIETY

 

We
rush recklessly forward
in awkward sentient colonies
blinded
by self preservation
and fragility
consumed
by regret
and indecision and
burdened by lust
(shadowy voyeurs that we are)
and
in unreasonable haste
by misunderstanding.

We
awake sleeping
powered
– faultlessly –
by emotion
and media:
desperate
to get ahead of change
before change changes.

We push
almost
silently alone
– forgivably selfish –
and factory bred to be unaware
of what to ignore
drowning ourselves in excuses
and reasons to find them
and
searching for peace
and harboring nothing
– absolutely nothing –
of the sort.

We survive
possessed by impression
and ruined by greed.

We launch
propelled on
and upward
finding any description that fits
to fit
calling it ‘destiny’
(the time we have left)
oblivious
that time exists
nowhere
but in the moments
that we hurry
now
(society, that is)
in droves
to pass on by.

 

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 11 January, 2014

THOUGHT #432

The heartbeat of whatever it is that makes us special is the poetry that writes our lives.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 11 December, 2011

THOUGHT #378

To pursue one’s death like a hungry man, one must starve it of life as a coward.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 9 September, 2012

BRANCH

 

Each branch
of my life-giving tree
provides a path
my heart can follow,
where its direction
and connecting purpose
lead outward
– always –
to infinite beauty;
to a scope beyond that
which its blind roots
and captured leaves
can only dream exists

 

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 22 June, 2011

THOUGHT #312

When there’s no test, there is a test one is passing.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 13 March, 2011

THOUGHT #231

What is the purpose of a polished gem, if not but to prove that life is the perfect reflection.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 25 November, 2010

THOUGHT #190

Throwing one’s life away by holding tightly onto it is the fastest way to let it go.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 5 February, 2012

THOUGHT #143

One is never more alive than during death.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 3 July, 2012

THOUGHT #20

Instead of studying death to appreciate life, one should be studying life to appreciate the life beyond it.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 27 November, 2011

MORTALITY

 

the life
on which we thrive
is so small
amongst the larger
landscape
of a picture
that tells a thousand words

the life
we so treasure
becomes a whisper
of nothing more
than a dream
in the lives
of those
who are dying

the life
we are
the life
we can’t see
is contained
in an egg shell
and it’s mother
is the womb
of all mothers
from the wife
in which we live
called life

 

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 21 October, 2002