loneliness

JUNE

Apparently, I died yesterday, but my
last breath was somewhere between March and April
– it just took you another 3 months to decide
that you are the vastness of space
and I am the lungs that are empty without you

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 12 June, 2017

PURPLE HEART

My posthumous heart
declares no life without you,
yet, the holding of my breath
to mark your absence beats it louder;
and as I listen to every bloody word
it whispers in my ears,
I wrap the sound around me
like your missing arms,
and
count
each
pulse
until my vitals fade,
wondering if you will ever rush
like this intimate moment,
to tend to my starving needs again.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 17 May, 2017

ENDLESS PATH

concrete emotion
part water, part sand,
stiff and retrodden
imprinted by hand

unbroken dazing
obsessive addiction
weathered disfigurement
stolen ambition

frozen with purpose
externally veined
denied all surrender
exhausted terrain

captured in burden
expressionless pain
mindless estrangement
decisively plain

distantly suffering
obsessive beliefs
helpless remorse
escaping relief

painful receding
numbless appeasement
gone now, the bleeding
here, quiet, the easement

 

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 3 May, 2014

THOUGHT #460

If, at the peak of loneliness one is surrounded by emptiness, may it also be filled with infinite choices.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 18 January, 2013

A TIMELESS WAIT IN MADNESS

 

Your sweet promise
coats me like a varnish,
wrapping my sticky desires
in an airless
human
skin-tight
vault.

Fatally sealed,
this timeless wait in madness,
this paused intent
of craftsmanship

one unstepped
frozen
foot ahead

contains me like a parasite,
and I, far from drowning,
hibernate within;
mirages of possibility,
seeming eons of time

– bereft of touch –

pass me by, imprisoned.

But wide awake alone,
insane,
inside this vacuumed husk,
I quench my heart

– reflection –

while my hunger,
still un-fed,
provides the popcorn
and the trailers
to the feature film
that scratches at my
fading,
timeless,
statuesque,
and stunted soul.

I wait (believing)

baited and entombed,

for the next civilisation
to unbury me

and recreate a reason
for my being here
that parallels an excuse
for their own.

 

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 28 August, 2011

THOUGHT #173

When traveling alone, one finds the real journey occurs within.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 25 February, 2012

SOMEWHERE

somewhere
there is a space
where I will find myself
amongst the dust that falls so calmly through the air.
I’ll find my purpose lingering there.

meanwhile
I’ll stay partitioned off from ghosts
and other 5th dimension beings –
sharing this part of the room
with my cold desire to belong.

 

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 28 July, 2004