expectation

I HOPE WE MAKE IT

I have no tolerance for hope. Hope survives
on leftovers and unwilling loss: a soiled casket of
emptiness for every six feet of paragraph
it wades behind. Hope stuffs itself between the words
and the meaning, loudly camouflaged by
gambling and cigarettes, declining to altercate but
lathered by a demand to be seen. It shuns you,
but needs you desirable, a voyeurist: a
lap dancing ghost to keep it current.
            Hope is a pimp
and you whore yourself to keep it primed,
shedding your skin like a puree of missing passports,
onion tears soaking sensibility after raw
sensibility, riding hope faster than your hips can keep up,
because, and after all,
there has to be a better place than this.
Time is just an expanse to harness,
a mount for crossing –
and you must wager everything,
from soul to sex
to grind it hard to a halt.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 19 November, 2018

ASTEROID

I expect too much of time
in the little I have left.
I am a dinosaur,
and it,
the pummelling to come.

I wait for its whoosh to confound me;
the bending skywards of my neck;
the brevity of my innocence;
my un-vocal surrender.

A wounded animal,
contorted by such clarity,
confronted
by my lack of ease
as I awkwardly expire.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 29 November, 2017

THOUGHT #294

An expected outcome is never more feared than when it is planned.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 3 March, 2011

THOUGHT #293

A burden shouldered together is one less to expect alone.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 3 March, 2011

THOUGHT #291

Those who don’t expect, receive more.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 3 March, 2011

THOUGHT #120

The assumption that one needs more arises from the disbelief that one can happily expect nothing.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 16 September, 2011

THOUGHT #42

When one expects to see everything, one sees only what one expects to see.

© Tamara Natividad | pisceanesque.com | Written 2 December, 2011